Our New PM
Our new PM will be a man's man
Or a woman's woman
Or a woman's man
Or a man's woman
But whichever our way our new PM swings, our new PM will bring lots of the greatest things
Like freedom, justice, truth, and freedom again
Like wonder, joy, and absence of pain
Like peace and love and a rhyming quatrain
Cheaper groceries and a high-speed train
Our new PM may come from anywhere at all
North, South, East, West, or an as-yet undiscovered direction I call "hampwards"
And when he or she or it wanders out of the hampwards mists, hat tilted rakishly over one eyes, six-guns blazing
We will know that now
Finally
We have found our new PM
For our new PM will be strong
And brave
And honest
And loving
And decisive without losing the softness of femininity
Our new PM will turn this ship around
In a figurative sense
And also in a literal sense in that if you have a ship
Our new PM will turn it around
FOR FREE
And thus climate change will be slain
Our new PM will have arms of wrought-iron
Eyes of steel
Teeth of diamond
Huge, curved claws ideal for disembowelling large mammals and reptiles that form its core diet
Let us see the bloated bureaucracy combat THAT
Our new PM could be a military man
Preaching the way of the gun
Bayoneting corruption and shelling injustice
Our new PM could be a businessman
Reducing our problems to cold hard figures
Balancing our books and invigorating our production pipelines
Our new PM could be a really fat guy
Eating cake and stuff
And like, not getting much exercise
Our new PM could be a stripper
Which'd be awesome
Because boobs
But I think our new PM will be a rock star
And not just any rock star
I think our new PM will be Peter Cetera
Yeah, you say it's a longshot now
But who's looking like an idiot when The Glory Of love booms over parliament's lawns?
Almost everybody but especially YOU
Or perhaps our new PM will be an astronaut
Taking our nation beyond the moon and past the stars
Where we will all eat a bland fish paste forever
But the important thing is
Whoever our new PM turns out to be
Our country will finally have a leader to be proud of
A man's man
A woman's woman
A woman's man
Or a baby's dachsund
May their reign be long
Their will be strong
Their opinions not wrong
Unlike Penny bloody Wong
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