Burning Bright

I have had time to ruminate on Tiger Woods's apology, and more specifically, the reaction to it.

Now, how sincere he was, who knows? As much as everyone seems to think they know...well, they don't. But the general consensus seems to be it was cynical, rehearsed, all for appearances' sake, insincere, fake, phoney, and so on, and so on.

OK, so for everyone who has offered their opinion along the lines of "oh he was so fake, I don't buy it for a second, what a farce, what a disgrace, he's not sorry at all, how dare he..." I have a piece of advice for YOU. Which is this:

Shut the fuck up and count your goddamn blessings.

Because here is the thing: generally, people don't receive apologies from complete strangers who have not actually done anything to them. So here is what has happened.

A man has offered an apology to a group of people who he does not know, who do not know him, against whom he has committed no sin, whom he has never done anything to hurt in his entire life, and who have never ever received any sort of injury or harm as a direct or indirect result of his actions or words, ever.

And these people have immediately commenced bitching about how this completely unwarranted apology did not live up to their lofty expectations.

Seriously, stop being such a bunch of dicks. Show some frigging gratitude you got anything from Tiger, who actually didn't owe you anything, doesn't owe you anything, and won't owe you anything in the future.

"Oh, he's provided such marvellous entertainment for me over the years, I take it as a personal affront that his private life in which I have no part was less than satisfactory to me".

Dudes.

Shut up.

I Bet You're Feeling Pretty Low Right About Now

In today's edition of the Herald Sun, it is revealed that Australians (defined in the Macquarie Dictionary as "people who respond to online Herald Sun polls) do not believe Tiger Woods's expression of contrition.

Tiger is reportedly shattered by this news:



The Herald Sun also reports, in its "What the professionals said" section (in which professional people who are professional at something say things) that breakfast radio co-host Brigitte "Brig" Duclos thinks that "All the sex therapy in the world wouldn't allow me to trust Tiger again."

"Brigitte Duclos doesn't trust me anymore?"



Because how can Tiger pick up the pieces without Brig's trust? How can he try to rebuild his relationship with this complete stranger if she does not trust him anymore. From now on, whenever he is playing golf on the other side of the world, or sitting in his house nowhere near Brigitte Duclos, or going out to a function that has no connection to Brigitte Duclos at all, she will have this gnawing doubt..."what's he up to?" she will think. "Is he doing something that is none of my business? Who can tell with a cad like he's been?"

And that's the real tragedy. From now on, there's only one man for Brig.