Pobjie Poetry Month Day 22 Title Courtesy Of @harrisonthefan

The Joys Of Writing Employment

Writing is better than digging a ditch
Cos you don't need a shovel and you can just sit in your chair to do it
And digging ditches hurts your back

Writing is better than plumbing
Cos you don't need to know how to use a spanner to do it
And you don't need to do an apprenticeship

Writing is better than being in the army
Cos when you write you can just make up cool army stories without having to leave the house
And you don't have to get blown up by IEDs

Writing is better than motherhood
Because you get more sleep because books don't wake up and cry in the night
And you don't get sore nipples

Writing is better than being the Queen
Because you can check Facebook while you're doing it
And also the Queen is very very old

Writing is better than Nazism
Because people aren't so scared of you when they find out you're a writer
And most Nazis are dead now

Writing is better than being a barista
Because if you're a barista you're probably a complete wanker
Why don't you fuck off, baristas?

Writing is better than working at Hungry Jack's
Especially this total bitch I know at the Hungry Jack's near my place
Fuck her

Writing is better than selling Foxtel door to door
Fuck off you idiots I'm trying to have dinner for Christ's sake
Just fuck right off

Writing is better than being a complete knob
Like that guy
What a knob

Glad I'm a writer and not a fucking knob like him
Am I right?
Yeah
Knobs