Sunday, July 20, 2008

All That He Toucheth...

Policeman dies after being blessed by Pope

Pope Benedict XVI has once more applied the Touch of Death to a devout follower, continuing his trail of carnage throughout the civilised world. Apparently God was not satisfied with giving the poor copper multiple cancers, he had to send his hired goon to finish the job.

OK, here's the most disturbing aspect, for me, of this story - the following paragraph:

"In a touching moment, the pontiff donned Snr Const Hill's police hat and reportedly kept it after mistaking it for a gift."

So the light-fingered old Papa doesn't just kill the guy - he steals his HAT? So he can go home and play cops and robbers at St Peter's?

And the paper refers to it as a "touching moment" - rather than what it actually was - a felony.

A more accurate way of describing the situation would be: "In a callous act of blatant larceny, the pontiff donned Snr Const Hill's police hat and reportedly kept it in an attempt to magnify his family's grief and pain by taking from them what would have been a precious memento of a loved one.

So yeah, next time you meet the Pope, keep one hand on your wallet.

In other news, the Pope yesterday became hungry and grabbed a quick snack:



Mad Cat Lady said...

And the masses attending the twilight service mistook the Pope intermittent outbursts of "brrrrraiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnssssss" as advice to concentrate on their schooling.

squib said...

The poor kid, as if Santa isn't scary enough, here's a dementor in a red cape

Mad Cat Lady said...

Oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan I need a hit
Let me snort up some of your kid
To top up my pre-paid credit
Of innocence with the holy spirit
(snicker - I promise to stop now)

Anonymous said...

What kind of person goes to visit a dying patient and puts on their hat?? I cannot imagine such a scenario.
Then, who let him leave with it? What the hell was going on in that room??

Anonymous said...

Ah, that wacky Pope!

hank_says said...

G'eeurrghghgh, what a photo.

I'd rather let Michael Jackson dangle my baby out a window than that creepy old fucker.