Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What IS the Fuss About?

I don't see why everyone's getting so worked-up and PC and huffy and lame and sissy over Alannah Hill's comments about David Jones ex-CEO/sex machine Mark McInnes. All she said was that she wished he had touched HER up, and who can blame her? The man is a FOX. ANY woman would be grateful to be harassed by him. Am I right ladies?

Oh, you KNOW I'm right! And Hill (pictured here in one of her own creations)
was just saying what we're all thinking: i.e. "Whoa girl, way to blow your big chance!"

Hell, I'm a GUY, and I want to be harassed by Mark McInnes. For one thing, how good would it be for your self-esteem? Imagine knowing that you were harassment-worthy! Self-worth: through the roof, baby! In fact, I've always wanted to be harassed, by anyone, really. So many times at social functions I've tried to lead the conversation around to the subject of harassment, hoping the object of my affection will try it on.

In fact, ladies, don't you think it's time to stop calling it "harassment"? Isn't it time we used the correct term: "flattery"? Jesus Christ, Kristy Fraser-Kirk, learn to take a goddamn compliment. Take a lesson from Alannah Hill, and maybe then you'll learn to conduct yourself with a little class, a little grace, a little of what the French call "laissez-faire".

Because trust me, Kristy, all this "ooh I'm so sensitive don't touch me there no I'd rather not have sex with you right this minute thanks" nonsense is no way to land yourself a husband. And today, a nation is shaking its head at YOU, the girl who had the chance to engage in intercourse with a man who was both good-looking AND rich, and who turned it down like some kind of lesbian or something. Who turned down what pretty much every men's magazine informs me is every normal girl's dream.

You tell her, Alannah, Girl don't know what she's missing.

Chicks, man. Am I right?


Casey said...

Oooooooh..... I can just see the feminists who don't know your style frothing at the mouth now.....

Well played sir

Ann ODyne said...

Well said. I am definitely Team Alannah.
The Complainant wanting $37 million dollars has made her look silly to many people. Victims of violent rape by unknown attackers don't get 37 cents compensation.

Natalie said...

What Ann?
Did you read the same post as me? I read this as a tongue in cheek attack against people who complain about society being sooooooooooo PC.

It's shit of Alannah Hill to belittle victims of sexual harassment and nullify their experiences. Whether their attackers are known or not.

Moko 2.0 said...

Would she be saying she wished he raped her?.

Anonymous said...

Casey: Feminists of all people will instantly recognise this fantastic post as a satirical attack on sexist attitudes. What exactly would they be frothing at the mouth for?

Is appears that your point is that women/feminists just can't take a joke, which makes you exactly the kind of person Ben has so brilliantly mocked here. Poor you. I guess you just don't quite get it, do you?