Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Smarter than your average jar

The article which WAS here, on the subject of Gary Ablett's Herald Sun think-piece about evolution, peanut butter, and why it's science's fault he supplies massive amounts of drugs to women young enough to be his daughter, has been taken off the blog due to the piece being promoted to the ABC. Enjoy it there.

But while you're here, why not admire the great man's unique grace and athleticism. And, um, brains and stuff.

3 comments:

Kitty said...

GOLD!

ozatheist said...

some say that satire is the lowest form of wit.

They obviously haven't read your work. as Kitty said: GOLD!

Gibbot said...

Thank you Ben. You've put into words very much what I felt about this article, but have done so with far more meaty goodness.

I did attempt to thank Gary myself, but the Herald sun declined to publish my comment. They're undoubtedly atheists. Perhaps I could share it with you, so that you may become the vessel of my gratitude:

I would like to thank Gary and the Herald Sun for drawing my attention to the ever present dangers of unattended peanut butter.
Upon reading this highly informative and undoubtedly totally factual article, I rushed to my fridge and was horrified to discover that the lid on my peanut butter jar was unscrewed and life had developed inside. It wasn’t particularly intelligent life, as it mistook me as its creator and took to praising me and wearing hair shirts because it thought that would make me happy.
Once I managed to get it to stop singing tuneless songs at me I tried to explain to it how bacteria travels and mould develops, but it refused to listen and instead demanded an internet filter, tax exemption and the right to espouse my divinity in its schools.
It then demanded I throw the Vegemite out of my fridge because it’s the wrong colour, and send any other forms of spread back in the trolley they came in before they reach my kitchen.
I threw it out when it started telling me that allowing my two cucumbers to cohabit the vegetable crisper would cause an electrical fire in my bedroom. It had obviously gone barking mad.