Yeah I'm talking to you, Mark Scott, managing director of the ABC. Because the news tells me that you're looking to the models of the Daily Show and Colbert Report to create news and current affairs shows for a younger audience on the ABC.
And this means, Mr Scott, it is time to cease this assiduous avoidance of the area below your nostrils.
It is time to stop pretending you don't know what you need.
It is time to be a man and admit that you were wrong in the past to not give me my own TV show, and proclaim to the world, this is what the ABC needs.
Because Mr Scott, I'm your man.
Just check this out:
Uh, hello? Can you say "peas in a pod"?
And if that's not enough:
To cut a long story short, Mr Scott, come ON. You know you want me. Put me on TV now, or wear the consequences.
If YOU support this worthy cause, why not contact Mark Scott, care of the ABC, at:
ABC Ultimo Centre;
700 Harris Street;
Ultimo NSW 2007;
GPO Box 9994;
Sydney NSW 2001;
OR just give him a friendly ring:
Phone (02) 8333 1500
Or tweet him @ABCMarkScott. He values your feedback! Probably!