Update on a fractured mind

I'm pissed off.

I'm pissed off by people, pissed off by the world, pissed off by the bigotry, the stupidity, the hatred and the selfishness. I'm pissed off by the fact that I know how guilty I can be of these things. I'm pissed off with myself for not fighting harder against them. And I'm tired of caring and I'm pissed off that I'm tired.

And I'm pissed off most of all by the fact that I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off that I'm depressed and hurt and insulted and I'm pissed off that I'm in a terrible headspace today and I know that that's the only reason I'm letting everything get to me and I'm pissed off that I've allowed myself to fall victim to my own emotions.

What it boils down to is: I'm pissed off, because I'm just not the person I want to be, and I never will be. And I the fact that I know I should accept myself the way I am makes me dislike myself even more, and accept myself even less.

So I'm pissed off. At everything. Especially myself. And I have no idea how not to be, nor any hope that I ever will.

I apologise for this post.