Wednesday, August 29, 2012

It's Time!


Yes it is Slutwalk time again in jolly old Melbourne town! Follow that link to find out all about it. You can also read a bit I wrote for my Slutwalk pals on Slutwalk etiquette for newbies.

Another thing you could read is this blast from the past I wrote in honour of last year's event.

Essentially I am a fan of Slutwalk, and not just because all the women there are total babes. I am not going to presume to speak for all Slutwalkers by any means, but to me it seems like this:

People have varying views on the word "slut". Some want to reclaim it, some want to eliminate it entirely, and some, I'm sure, don't see the harm in the word, per se. But whatever your views on the word itself, I don't think you can deny that it is a word used terribly often to shame women for their choices, and to lay the blame on them for things that have happened to them that were not their fault.

In that earlier blog post I referred to Labyrinth and that powerful phrase, "You have no power over me". And while Slutwalk covers a wide variety of issues and points of view, and will mean different things to different people, I think it all comes under that phrase. Women have for too long had to put up with people using words like "slut" to diminish them and make them feel ashamed unjustly. I like to think Slutwalk is a chance for people of goodwill everywhere to stand up and say, "You have no power over me - you do not control me, and I am not going to let you make me feel ashamed." 

Whether it's calling a woman a slut because she likes sex, telling a woman she's indecent because she dresses differently to how you want her to, or, horribly and heinously, telling women they need to "take some responsibility" for being assaulted, Slutwalkers are saying we're not going to let you tell us that anymore - you have no power. We win. You lose. We're going to march with our heads high and there's not a damn thing you can do to make us lower them.

And Slutwalk is for both sexes - because we must also remember, there is no battle between the sexes: only a battle between good people and bad ones.

All power to the Slutwalk!

Monday, August 20, 2012

How Politics Works

The politics of fear is, in fact, the only politics there is. Fear is the politician's prime motivation, greatest priority and defining characteristic. The only way to understand the progression of political life is to understand that the people we elect to govern us live their lives consumed by terror, and their every decision is informed, coloured and driven by their fear of losing the fragile grip they have on whatever amount of power and status they've managed to accrue up to now.

So this is how a politician's life goes:

1. They enter politics, full of enthusiasm and ambition, with big plans for what they can do to make things better and leave their mark on public life.

2. They discover that there are certain rules to the political game, and if you don't abide by the rules, you don't get to play. Realising that unless they are in the game, they will never get to implement any of their grand ideas, they bend a little, play by the rules, and get in the game.

3. They gain a little bit of power, and are all ready to start doing good, when they discover that if they try to start doing good right now, the power they gained will be threatened. Realising that unless they retain the power they've gained, they'll never be able to start doing good, they put the good stuff on the backburner, and keep playing the game, ready to really make a difference as soon as their position is consolidated.

4. They rise even higher, and are now in a position to put forward their grand ideas.

5. They find that nobody else wants their grand ideas, and if they push ahead with their grand ideas, they'll never rise higher, and someone else with less grand ideas will come forward to take their place. Offered the chance to pursue slightly less grand ideas, they take it, because they realise that unless they keep their position, there'll be no grand ideas at all, and what's the use of having grand ideas if you have no power to do anything about it?

6. Nobody wants the slightly less grand ideas after all - would they like to pursue something a bit less grand again?

7. And again?

8. And again?

9. Their grand ideas obliterated completely, they manage to take a tiny, almost imperceptible bit of action on something of little importance, and feel a warm glow of achievement. They have played the game and Made A Difference. For this they are rewarded with more power.

10. In a position of genuine, lofty power, they look back at all the plans they had to shake the country up and usher in a new age. But if they do that, they might lose that position of genuine, lofty power, and how can you shake the country up unless you're in a position of genuine, lofty power?

11. They take a look at their options, and discover that absolutely nothing can be done without threatening their position of genuine, lofty power.

12. Given that nothing can be achieved without being in power, they swiftly decide to do nothing, because only by doing nothing can they keep power, and only by being in power can anything be done.

13. And so, with a restful conscience, to bed.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

You Wouldn't Read About It

It's hard to believe, but we did it! My valet Cam Smith and I hit our target, and we can now upgrade our podcast set-up AND get cracking on our revolutionary web video series!

Isn't this great?


Before that of course we shall get to work on providing the promised perks to all who donated.

But before THAT, I would just like to use the power of blogging to thank everyone who donated. From both Cam and myself, enormous, passionate, wet, thrusting gratitude to:

Jason Wilson
Amanda Simpson
Joseph Briggs
Joey Kleptomania
Andrew Dittmer
Alexina Psaros-Clarke
Kathleen McLeod
Tabitha Tate
Griffin Rhyne
Lucinda Horrocks
Flares Sportsman
Claire Connelly
Janelle Moran
Marieke Hardy
Alison Goward
Julie Lenten
Shelley Stocken
Mike Stuchbery
Paula Johnson
Susan Carland
Anonymous again
Marni Cordell
Catriona Menzies-Pike
Umlol idunno
Nick Porter
Helen Razer
Jake DiLucia
Michelle Edwards
Stephen Davies
Jo Thornely
Cameron Cairns
Paul Everett
Another Anonymous
Marcus Liddle
Stephen Downes
Keir Paterson
Emily Maguire
Evie Pereira
Dave Gaukroger
Bill Dennis
Rebecca Dickson
Alice L Pobjie
Anna Spargo-Ryan
Stair Keith
Elyce Phillips
Anonymous (!)
Elizabeth Aitken
Sarah Heald


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

EIGHT DAYS, my brain hurts a lot! EIGHT DAYS, that's all we've got!

That's all we've got until our Indiegogo Gather Around Me fundraiser comes to an end! Eight Days! Can we raise the remaining $742 (at time of blogging) in no more time than it takes to have a Cuban missile crisis?

With your HELP we can! And don't you enjoy HELPing people? People like me and my carer Cam Smith (pictured below)?

How can you say no to that face? You can't is what I am saying.

And don't you like the internet and seeing things on it? Imaging if you could turn on your internet of an evening and watch me conducting an interview with Tara Moss entirely in rhyming couplets! Or watch me and David Marr assign scores out of ten to pillowcases at Kmart!

ANYTHING is possible with a high-quality vodcast! And that is what co-pilot Cam and I will be delivering if we can reach our target! Our fans' generosity let us upgrade our PODcasting capabilities, but if you want us in vision AS WELL AS sound, we need just a little bit more. All donations are appreciated - after all, if 200 people give $5 each we're there and then some. And aren't there 200 more of you out there who love us?

Who love ME?

Who want to see me HAPPY?

Who want to see me SPREAD happiness to the world?

Don't take my word for it - ask Toowoomba's Kate Middleton how Gather Around Me makes her feel:

"I feel like a weird drunk princess!"
And we can make EVERYONE feel like that. Not just me and my step-aunt Cam, but ALL OF US together, because if you donate to the Indiegogo, YOU will share in our life's work and we will be a TEAM which will be just so lovely for everyone. O please won't you be on my team o please?

Together, you and me, our future's so bright we need radiation suits!

Dance, puppets, dance!